As I sit here with a gentle fog running in on the first of December, naturally a rise of Christmas reflections is coming on.

Although it may have gotten lost over the years, we all know that feeling of Christmas cheer. The gentle twinkle of the lights, crisp winter air, laughter in the distance, surroundings of red, white, and green. The magic of that indescribable spark you sometimes get and sometimes don’t.

When I was a kid, on my way home from piano lessons around Christmas time, I would make a game out of counting how many houses with Christmas lights I could see throughout the drive. It gave me a glimmer of joy as the number got bigger every week, I gazed in awe at some displays and was encouraged by ones in the distant hills.

Children usually have the right idea because they haven’t been ruined by the world yet.

Now as an adult, common conversations around this time of year are discontentment with people who put up their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, retail jumping from Halloween to Christmas, how humanity has consumer-ized Christmas…you know, the usual critical musings.

Yet an adult feeling I have become accustomed to is the juxtaposition of critical thoughts and genuine joy, the dis-enchantment usually wearing off just in time to enjoy the holiday. That yearning for joy and ability to tap into it is still there.

But this year feels different. The sense of joy, kindness, and gratitude creeping in as a constant rather than a flip of the switch.  This year I was delighted to see people putting up their lights the weekend before Thanksgiving, my own excitement to put up our tree and lights settling in. Urges to ice skate, watch Christmas movies, drink hot chocolate, help a stranger, wrap presents, and listen to ambient Christmas music sooner than a few days before Christmas.

I’m sure that having kids had something to do with me going soft, but I’m here for it.

The deeper knowing that has been dawning on me this year, is that we are just eager to have some damn cheer in our lives. It doesn’t have to be a negative thing that people want to expedite the Christmas feels. It is not a crime that we are ready for the part of the year where we get to connect, reflect, and be jolly. To have a reason to stare at pretty lights, give thoughtfully, and receive graciously.  

Of course, we don’t always get this reality…we’re lucky if these feelings are actually tradition. Unfortunately, Christmas can also be a reminder of the connections we don’t have, a feeling that joy is illusive, a reminder of bleak odds. Or we get caught up in spending, greed, and perpetuating ugly cycles of humanity.

I think where we go wrong is the idea that this feeling is reserved for a holiday, when really love, kindness, gratitude, and shimmers of joy are always available to us. This can be the norm, but we have to believe it’s possible, we have to believe it’s worth it, and we have to do the work to let go of the negativities we are meant to learn from.

I know it’s borderline toxic positivity, but thinking of my favorite Christmas movies, I am cautiously buying into the cheesy messages. That maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, the true spirit of Christmas lives in your heart, a true act of kindness always sparks another, and that maybe (channeling Hugh Grant voice), love actually is all around.

Is this what it’s like to be happy? To buy into the cheese?

While of course there are miles to go in spreading love without rampant consumerism, it seems like we are on the right track. Or at least we are trying to be…maybe our excitement to prolong Christmas shows our readiness to move towards a different way of life. A willingness to let the magic of love and kindness have more presence in our lives.

Can we hack the magic of Christmas to be more commonplace than just a holiday? Can we believe there is always joy and warmth to be found? If we look for joy, connect on the regular, show gratitude, and believe we can do better, can we create a better reality?

Well, a girl can dream.

Merry Christmas!